We’ve probably all heard the epitome of the old fashioned country music song about how the singer was left by his lover, his heart is broken, he’s going to drink himself to death and the only one that really loves him is his faithful dog, Earl. If you’re like me, you couldn’t turn that song off fast enough. When we find ourselves in the same situation as our unfortunate singer, it is easy to be sad and glum and sit around feeling sorry for ourselves and maybe drinking our way into oblivion. However, this particular approach will not advance your ultimate goal of getting your ex back.

Of course, breaking up is painful and this is not to say you should pretend like everything is just great. It is important to acknowledge the pain of breaking up and share it with a counselor or trusted friend or two. It is also important to be sure that you don’t tell everyone who will listen and give them the whole story about how “I was done wrong.”

If you do this and the information gets back to your ex, it will do more harm than good. You may think that you are just demonstrating how hurt you are and hoping he will take pity on you and take you back. It will probably do just the opposite. Your ex (and everyone else) will want to turn that song off as quickly as possible.

Instead, you need to be strong and brave. Keep your private life, well, private. If someone asks you about where your ex is, you can answer with a brief statement such as “We are taking some time apart.” and leave it at that. Showing that you are recovering and moving on can be a statement to your ex that you will not wallow in misery without him and that you will be just fine. Many an ex has had a change of heart when they see their -ex moving on. He may realize that he wants to move on with you after all.

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